Admissions Officer Advice: Making Your Essays Shine

Webinar Transcription

2023-07-06 – Admissions Officer Advice: Making Your Essays Shine

Stacey: Hi everyone, my name is Stacey Tuttle and I am your moderator today. Welcome to, “Admissions Officer Advice: Making Your Essays Shine.” To orient everyone with the webinar timing, we’ll start off with a presentation and answer your questions in a live Q& A. On the sidebar, you can download our slides and you can start submitting questions in the Q& A tab. Now let’s meet our panelists.

Aya: Hi, everyone. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Depending on where you are in the world. My name is Aya Waller-Bey. I’m a former admissions officer and I’ll be speaking to you today about college essays. Just a little bit about me. So I am a first generation college student, very proud, born and raised in Detroit, Michigan.

And I went to Georgetown University for undergrad in DC where I study sociology. Shortly after graduation, I became an admissions officer and coordinator of multicultural recruitment. Uh, I then went on to get my master’s in philosophy of education at the University of Cambridge in England, uh, as a recipient of the prestigious Gates Cambridge scholarship.

While there, I also interviewed for Georgetown, so I got to meet a lot of amazing young people from all over Europe. Um, I am now getting my PhD in sociology at the University of Michigan, Go Blue, where I actually studied the college admissions essay. So you get like a triple whammy of college admission support, and I’m very much looking forward to speaking with you all tonight.

Stacey: Great. Thank you so much, Aya. And so now that you know a little bit more about Aya, we want to get to know you all a little bit better. Um, so what grade are you in? You’re going to see that poll appear right in front of you now. So go ahead and take a moment to complete that. And Aya, you do have quite an admissions background behind you.

You’ve probably read, how many essays would you imagine you’ve read at this point, ballpark?

Aya: Uh, at this point, several thousand.

Stacey: Several thousand. Yeah, that sounds about right, actually. All right. Now the poll results show we have a lot of seniors and juniors. Fantastic. We do have some sophomores and then we have another category.

So we have some folks who might be post grad or another category. Um, so really nice. I said a diversity here, but seniors, juniors, you are absolutely in the right place. Um, I am going to turn that back over to you for the main part of the presentation.

Aya: Fantastic. Thank you so much, Stacey. So first and foremost, you know, you might be asking what types of essays are students writing for their college application?

So I always like to say there are three main essays there that there’s that college personal statement essay, Then you have those supplemental essays. And then finally, a scholarship essay, which are less common. So the college personal statement is that essay is submitted to college universities that really showcase your student voice, your writing skills, and really add depth and context to your application.

Now with the college personal statement or the main college, I say, if you’re applying, say via the common application, there’s one essay that you submit to a plethora of schools. So. You apply to 10 schools, you’re submitting one college personal statement that goes to all the schools that is on your comma app and all the schools that require it.

You then have supplemental essays. So different, uh, essays that are often more, uh, college specific. So they invite students to write about a variety of topics, but they usually are about school specific problems, right? So that white essay asking you to kind of talk about why specific university, is a good fit for you.

Again, unlike the personal statement, which you are submitting to all the schools on your list, a supplement essay is usually required by just some colleges, universities, they vary in length, they vary in question style, so they’re very specific to the university or institution. And then less common, but happens enough, are the scholarship essays, which They really ask students to write about a particular question or topic for a certain merit based scholarships or grants.

So these are essays that universities may have, say a particular a wealthy donor or alum dedicated the essay, say for students who study environmental science, and therefore there’s a why that essay, and if you are successful, You might receive additional dollars for that. So there’s the scholarship essays.

You also have nonprofits and other organizations that may fund scholarships that are external to the university, where students are asking specific questions that really explain why they may need a scholarship. And that can be based on financial situations and or sports, athletic ability, or also academic interests.

So the scholarship essay varies as well. Again, less comment, but definitely exists in various college admissions processes. So the significance, you know, why is there a college essay? So I have to remind students that we are applying to college There are so many aspects of the college application where other people are speaking about you or for you, right?

So you think about that letter of recommendation that you received from the college counselor or college guidance counselor where? They’re talking about what you are as a student based on their expression, right? And this is, again, this is their own kind of viewpoint. They’ll have additional data from grades and test scores, but they’re talking about you, right?

You also have that teacher or teacher’s letter recommendation where, again, teachers are talking about your performance in their class. There also might be external recommendations from coaches or other members, siblings, as some schools might invite. Where again, it’s other people talking about you. So the significance of the college essay is it’s you talking directly to the admissions officers or offices You’re also telling your story in your own words.

You’re adding that really, you know, beautiful, qualitative data or information to your application. And you’re providing additional context about your background, your identity, passions, and circumstances. So, the college essay is very important, and I believe it’s going to be increasingly important given our current landscape.

So, what factors make for a great essay and how you can stand out? In my, you know, professional opinion, a great college essay is Presenting information and ideas in a very focused and thoughtful manner. So you’re really thinking through, okay, I have this idea. I want to tell this story. How can I make it cohesive?

How can I make it focused? So it’s not just a jumble or word vomit, right? That it’s cohesive and really kind of answers a specific prompt. You want to use specific, concrete examples to convey your point, really focusing on the present and then your past. That’s a really important point to emphasize. I know a lot of people will talk about monumental or very critical moments of their life that perhaps happened when they were in elementary school or they were a toddler.

But for that personal statement, you really want to talk about the near present, right? So you don’t want to talk what happened to you in middle school. You don’t want to focus on what’s happening to you now and how that’s going to inform your future. There are, of course, areas and moments that happened in the past that influence in a form about the person you are today.

But when thinking, you know, about it, you really want to think about, okay, what’s happening now, what has happened in the near past and the present that is really contributing to the person that I am. You also want to tell admissions officers about who you are, your personal triumphs or challenges, leadership opportunities and experiences outside the classroom.

So again, admissions officers are already going to have a certain amount of data, right? They’re going to have information about. your extracurricular experiences based on the extracurriculars you kind of, uh, identify in your application. You’re going to have information about your grades, your test scores, if you choose to submit them.

So you really want to give them an extra um, an extra, um, perspective, if you will, or view about who you are that extends outside of their academic transcript and grades. And then of course, a great essay demonstrates good use of grammar, right? I can’t overstate that enough. You want something that is well written.

For some schools, the essay is going to be used to see what, you know, makes the student different from their peers. What’s special about this student. In some contexts, the essay is also an example of a writing statement where they can really See, how well does a student write? So you really want to make sure that you have a strong essay that is polished, that is edited, that is proofread.

And we’ll talk a little bit more about that later. So additional thinking about a great college essay. I always say, you know, students, you know, you really want to ensure that you’re answering the question. This is very, very important, right? So for the Common App, There are several prompts for you to choose one choose and then there’s also that additional choose your own prompt, right?

So regardless of which one you choose you want to make sure you’re answering a question Now especially for in the case of the supplemental essays. You really want to make sure that you’re answering The question so they say tell me, you know, why you’re interested in your particular major You don’t want to spend time talking about random things Sports teams, etc.

You want to talk about why are you interested in the major? What about the major the faculty the area of interest the area of study what you may want to do? With that major in the in the future. You really want to make sure you are answering The Green College essay also effectively describes how the experience has really led to personal growth, understanding, or belongingness, right?

You want to make sure you’re demonstrating substantial maturity, character, and open mindedness. So it’s not just a, you know, not enough just to randomly kind of describe moments. You want to make sure that so what? is communicated clearly, right? So why should we care? Why should the university care? What are you demonstrating from this essay?

So you really want to make sure the so what is clear. You also want to ensure that you reflect the student’s voice, right? So this is incredibly important, especially with the use of other technologies, which I’ll talk about later. Also, you have parents who are actively involved, siblings, college counselors.

You want to ensure that your essay reflects your voice. So naturally it should be polished. It should be free of major grammatical errors and typos. But it should not read like I wrote it. Right? I’m earning my PhD. I’m getting my fourth degree. The way I write should and will be very different from the way a high school senior writes.

And that’s important to think about. How can you be polished, edited of course, but without Making it seem as if someone an adult in your life wrote it. That’s incredibly important You also want to use specific concrete examples that convey your points and focuses again on examples present in your past So when in doubt be specific.

So what are some common mistakes to avoid in the college essays? And again, this is a very popular question, right? So first and foremost you want to write essays that feel That you want to avoid writing essays rather than focuses on other people. This happens a lot So for an example, there are people who might students rather who writes essays that tell the story of people who are Meaningful and impactful to them.

However, sometimes the story center that person and only that person So when writing essays that tell the story of say like a grandparent you want to make sure You are not talking about your grandparent exclusively. Colleges and universities want to admit you and not your grandparent, right? So you want to make sure even if you mention them and how much they impacted or inspire you that the essay is about you and not your grandparent.

You also want to avoid writing essays about overly common or controversial topics, such as sports and politics. The caveat about that is, there is ways to talk about what I consider common or mundane experiences that really show your creativity. However, Admissions officers, as I mentioned earlier in our conversation with Stacey, they read thousands and thousands upon thousands of application essays, right?

So there are certain topics such as sports, whether you lost the winning game, you got injured, you didn’t try, uh, you tried out for the swim team, you didn’t meet the time the first time around, you worked hard, you trained throughout the summer and you made it the next time. Or with your hockey team you were able to travel the country and meet new people There are so many versions and iterations of sports essays that we have read that sometimes they can feel very overly common.

So you want to think about that unique touch. You want to think about how can you distinguish yourself, right? So just something to think of mine. Also, or keep in mind rather, also something you want to think about, uh, politics. Now we do have students who are very committed to government, uh, foreign policy, political science.

You know, I went to undergrad in DC. A lot of people want to study politics. However, you never know who’s reading your essay, right? You don’t know the beliefs and the opinions of the person reading your essay. And as much as we want the process to be objective, everyone enters the conversation with a different view or lens.

So you also want to be mindful of the type of language you use in your essays that may describe other people, opinions, or beliefs that you may disagree with. As I mentioned, you want to avoid writing essays that read like They were written by a college professor. So mom and dad or siblings or teachers should not be writing your essays for you.

You want to avoid mentioning experiences with, without describing them. So we often say you want to show experiences without just telling them. Okay. You want to avoid in the common essay or college personal statement or the college essay, the one you submit to all your schools. You do want to avoid, just, you know, name it a college or university.

If you’re applying to say American university, They don’t want to read a, you know, an essay that talks about Franklin and Marshall, right? You really want to make sure you are not naming schools specifically in the college essay. You want to avoid overly using a thesaurus for obvious reasons of just using words that may not fit the context.

You want to avoid, uh, complex synthesis. I see this a lot. Sentences that are the length of a paragraph. You want to use pair, please use periods. Read through that sentence to say, is this three lines? That might be too long. You want to avoid using, of course, passive voice whenever possible. And it’s really important that you avoid using AI and artificial tools, such as chat to be teacher, write your essays.

Those platforms can be helpful in brainstorming, but writing a complete sentence. I say universities are getting really careful as far as thinking through how to distinguish a student voice versus an artificial intelligent voice. So you really want to be careful about using those tools.

Stacey: Thank you so much.

So our next poll here, um, to get to know where you all are in the college application process. Let us know. Where are you in in this current point in time? I do see that we had a lot of seniors and a lot of juniors. So, I’m imagining you all are coming right up on the college application. Prep process with the common app opening in August.

Um, so let’s see where the poll results come in. So some haven’t started. That’s totally fine. Um, researching schools, that’s a really great place to be. Summer is a really great time to be touring college campuses and getting to know, um, the campuses that you will be eventually. Applying to working on essays.

Okay, very appropriate. Um, and some are still getting your application materials together. So it looks like most students are still researching schools working on essays, which does align really well with the grades that you’re all in. Um, and so, again, you’re in the right place, turning it back over to you.

Aya: Fantastic. Thank you so much. So in thinking about the next kind of piece to this puzzle, you want to think about how can you write about your experiences creatively, right? So I always tell students to really think about this balance, you know, so you want to use specific and concrete examples that really convey your points.

And again, I keep emphasizing this, but focusing on examples of the present and near past. That’s important because again, colleges don’t necessarily want to hear about things that happen to you when you’re one year old, right? They want to think about what’s happening to you now as a student. You also want to limit flowery and abstract language that does not communicate substantive meaning.

So, I often read essays where I feel like there’s almost so much fluff, if you will, that I miss out on what the actual point is. So you, particularly as you think about That 650 word count, you really want to focus on making sure you’re answering the questions, right? So some of that fluff doesn’t really add value.

You want to incorporate elements of your culture, including language or expressions that reflect distinct cultural experiences. So I often hear students say, well, I grew up in a suburb. I don’t really have anything that makes me special or stand out, but that’s not true. We all come into this world. We all occupy experiences, communities, environments where we are individuals, right?

So we have distinct cultural experiences or perhaps there’s a saying or dad says to you every time you wake up or something that, you know, your favorite food, whatever brings you together, whatever defines you as a person, person. Think about how you can incorporate that in your essay. You want it to be personal and you want it to talk about you.

You also want to try to define less well known terms or expressions in your essay. I sometimes see students really trying to kind of show off and like, look at me, I’m smart, or look at me, I know these things, but you don’t, again, know who’s reading your essay. They may not be as well informed about certain terms.

A jargon you use saying an essay about why you want to study biology. So when in doubt you really want to explain You know less less well known terms or expressions. You also want to translate things I think it’s always fun when students use perhaps cultural or Expressions that may happen in a particular language, but you also want to translate that so people know You know what you’re saying.

So how can students edit their essays effectively? So there are a number of things to do to think about how to edit your essays First, uh, one strategy I use, and again, I am someone who’s always writing. I’m getting my PhD at U of M. It’s a very rigorous program in sociology. We read and write a lot. So I’m always trying to think about how I can best edit my essay.

So one of the tips I use is the read allow feature on Microsoft Word. It really helps, particularly if your document is under, you know, 2, 000 words. You know, I’m writing things that are 50 pages and 10, 000 words. So It can be a little daunting for me, but for those with shorter text and documents, having your document read itself to you, it’s a great way to catch.

You know, things that are spelled correctly, but used incorrectly, right? So, you know, proofreading can work. However, sometimes when you’ve written an essay, you know what you meant to say. So therefore, when you’re translating it, it gets lost a little bit. So for an example, you can write an essay that says, I enjoy torturing animals.

I have volunteered torturing animals at a local shelter since eighth grade, and the experience has solidified my desire to become a veterinarian. Clearly, this student Does not want to torture animals, right? They meant training animals. However, torturing is spelled correctly. It’s not necessarily, you know, inappropriate, inappropriate in a sense of morally, but it’s, it’s a correct term, right?

So therefore reading it in your brain, you’re translating it every single time you read it as training. I enjoy training animals. I volunteer training animals at a local shelter. So again, proofreading, read aloud feature really helps to address this. Also, I tell students, take a break. You know, after you finish a draft, take 24 hours or even 48 hours.

Before reviewing it again. Now, this means you cannot procrastinate. So, if the application is due by midnight and you finish at 1130, you can’t take 24 hours to take a break. So, please, please, please ensure that you are giving yourself enough time to adequately review your application. That is imperative, right?

If you rush and you wait till last minute, you don’t get that breathing room. You’re just going to submit it blindly and just hope for the best. And I don’t wish that on anyone. The stress is a lot to bear. You also want to have a teacher counselor, someone you trust, review the statement. This is important too.

I really think having someone review it can really, really help you ensure that the application is, is where I need to be. Now, keep in mind that it still should be your voice, your perspective. So. There is such thing as too many cooks in the kitchen. So you don’t have to have every single person, you know, review every draft.

It is okay to trust two people and say, give me your feedback, take that feedback into consideration or not, and then submit the essay, essay, that best response to who you are. Sometimes we get edited out on our, out of our own work. So you do want to make sure that your essays and statements reflect you.

So this is a popular question that I get a lot. So students often ask, what are essays that have stood out to me? So essays that have stood out to me have done several things. So first, they really reflect student ambition and growth. So it’s essays that really show how someone has grown from a certain experience or lived experience, I always find quite beautiful.

Also essays that highlight tenacity. Um, so really showing, you know, student resilience. It’s always a great thing. So things that students over had to overcome or endure and how they come out better on the other side. Essays that paint colorful photos of the human experience also. So, you know, I have so many students who have jobs.

They might work at Jimmy John’s. They might work at Starbucks or any other popular restaurant. You name and I think being able to talk about beautifully how you interact with people or things that you might consider common. I think those are often tend to be really great essays. I also love students who are able to connect their lived experiences to their passion.

So in areas where it makes sense, I still remember when I worked in admissions, a student love cupcakes, love eating cupcakes and start her own cupcake business. And her desire to learn more about the business to help make sure her business was successful and her local community motivated her to apply to the university and particularly their undergraduate business program.

So that was like such a beautiful marriage about her lived experiences, her desire to grow her cupcake business, and also her desire to study a particular academic interest. Now, your personal statement does not And I’ll say this now because we often get questions about it. Your personal statement does not explicitly have to connect to your academic interests.

You will not be deemed or, uh, looked apart, uh, unfavorably if your personal statement does not connect to your academic interests. So I think about final tips. There are several things again, I want to highlight first show don’t tell. So instead of saying, I learned a lot volunteering at the Cleveland animal shelter, consider saying while feeding the sick puppies with the other shelter volunteers, I learned the importance of teamwork and compassion.

So that second statement is more specific. It really, it shows you exactly. What the person was doing and what specifically they learned so it was gave you more details, right? Also, you want to share lessons learned so you want to detail how the experiences you write about inform your future and the type of student You’ll be at your respective college or university You also, again, want to proofread, when in doubt, proofread, use the Read Aloud feature on Microsoft Word to capture correctly spelled words used in the wrong way and then enlist the support of friends, family, teachers, counselors, admissions advisors, people you trust to look over your essay with a new pair of eyes, new lens.

You also want to tell your story. Again, I often read essays where people are talking about how great other people are. Which is great, but an essay about your grandma exclusively makes me want to meet and admit your grandma. However, you are the person applying for college, so you really want to make sure your essay is good.

Are talking about you.

Stacey: Thank you so much Aya. So that is the end of the presentation part of the webinar tonight I hope you found this information to be helpful. I know I did. I really you know, love that final point I was just saying this today to advise ease tell me about you. This is a great story about your brother or mother Tell me about you.

I love that last that last tip. Um, so remember that you can download the slides from the link in the handouts tab, and we’re going to move on to the live Q and a now I’ll read through the questions you submitted in the Q and a tab and still open for more questions. I’ll paste them into the public chat so you can see them and then I’ll read them out loud.

Before our panelists, I like I can give you an answer as a heads up. If you’re Q and a tab isn’t letting you submit questions. Just double check that you join the webinar through the custom link in your email and not from the webinar landing page. So with that, our first question for you, I has to do.

Really generally with where do you get inspiration? You know, there are a lot of students. I get this question a lot. I’m stuck. I don’t know where to start. I feel overwhelmed. Do you have any tips or tricks for students who are just kind of in this writing funk and they just don’t know kind of where to get that diving off point?

Aya: Yeah, well, that’s a great question. Thank you so much for the to the person who asked it. First of all, I mean, I think one way is to think about what are what are the questions. So if you look at the common, you can Google common app personal statement questions and the essay prompts have not really changed much from year to year.

Look at first what they’re asking. So They might ask you who’s a person that motivated you. They might ask you about something you overcome. Uh, they may ask you about your interests. So use those as starting points. Also think about, again, as I mentioned, some of my favorite essays are about what I might consider mundane experiences.

So I always tell students to brainstorm, maybe their day to day routine. Maybe write briefly about, you know, what you do as soon as you wake up in the morning. Describe your first day. Two hours to me. Do you set your alarm clock? Do you brush your teeth? Do you eat breakfast? Do you go to like describe even something that feels mundane?

I think there’s a really beautiful way about kind of talking about our day to day to really get those juices flowing. Also, you might literally just Google, you know, uh, vignettes. So like questions to ask yourself about how to get those juices flowing. So it could be something again, what inspires you. If you can go any place in the world, where would you go?

Who is a historical figure that may inspire you? Why? Who would you like to meet? If you could have dinner with anyone, past or present, who would that be? Why? So those are certain questions to really get those juices flowing. And again, the Common App essay questions or prompts, if you will, Are already out there.

So just start thinking about, Hmm, if a question is asking me about something, a life lesson that I learned, what is that lesson? And don’t overthink it. I think sometimes students are like, I need to sound smart. I need to sound official. Just answer the question. And it does not, the essay you first write or the brainstorm you have, it’s not going to be what you submit in the fall, right?

So really just, just really think about getting those juices flowing. Thinking about any topics, describe your daily routine. What’s your favorite music genre and why? Who’s your favorite artist and why? What country would you like to travel and why? Who would you like to meet if you had a dinner table and why?

Just asking yourself those questions and being able to reflect upon them will really allow you to get those juices flowing that will make for a really eloquent and thoughtful essay when it’s time to submit.

Stacey: Thank you. I totally agree with the advice provided. It’s not an easy thing to start the essay and it can be pretty overwhelming.

So, um, definitely take his tips to heart and try to put them into practice. Um, another question has to do with editing and revising. So a couple of questions related to this first. What if you don’t have financial resources for a tutor or, um, A formal resource for writing your essays in which you can get that kind of financial support, um, around your essay writing.

What if you don’t have access to that? What other ways can you get free editing and revision help? Um, and how would you advise going about that? So let’s start there.

Aya: Thank you for that question. I think it’s an important one. As I mentioned earlier, I was a first generation college student. I grew up in a very low income family here in the city of Detroit, so I didn’t necessarily have.

Um, the means to hire people or an et cetera, but I relied on my teachers. Uh, I relied on friends. I rely on nonprofits who provide additional support. Um, so I rely on like people you trust again. I really think if you are saying you might say again I’m first gen so like my parents didn’t necessarily like read them and give me editing advice, but teachers and counselors did Other students that I feel like who were on a similar track, they edited them for me.

And then also there are local nonprofits as well, so I don’t think you need to kind of break the bank. And as I mentioned, uh, there’s so many free resources. Again, Using the Microsoft feature read aloud version to really kind of go through it can really help you. So I, I think really using what you already have in your knapsack, so teachers, counselors, educators in your school and local community is a great way to provide, just to get a little extra support if you feel like you need it.

Perfect.

Stacey: Thank you ia. Um, and so another question is who? And how many people should be reviewing your essay? Is there too much involvement? If you’re asking too many people, what are your thoughts on that?

Aya: There is a such thing as too many people. I mean, I think sometimes you get to a point where it’s like 25 people and you’re like, do I go with Stacey?

Do I my teacher? Do I go with my mom? Do I go with my sister? It’s way too much. That’s why I say, you know, Two people could be great, you know, and they both people could do two rounds And you also do not have to accept all of the feedback you receive someone might provide support and say hey I think you should change that wording.

It doesn’t make sense. You might in your head, you might be like, that really responds to who I am. That’s how I speak. That is my voice. And that person is telling me to change it, to sound more professional, more astute. That doesn’t align with who I am. So with that case, I really want you to think about limiting people three max.

Again, as I said earlier, there could be too many cooks in the kitchen and you don’t want to lose that student voice and you don’t also want to be inundated with feedback to the point. You just want to give up, which happens a lot. Again, I’m an academic people. I have someone reviewing my, my, my essays and papers right now.

And I’m like, Oh, no, there’s too many people. So I do think limiting to three or fewer. It could be a really great, um, Place to start because there is a such thing of just being innovative with too much feedback to the point It’s paralyzing or you feel like you’re losing a sense of self and and again student voice Your voice is incredibly important to this process.

Stacey: Yeah, that’s really Really great advice. Probably one of the other top questions I get when it comes to essay writing. Um, I, we do have a question in the chat about your discussion of using passive voice earlier in the presentation. Can you elaborate a little bit more and give a few examples of not using passive voice?

Aya: Yeah. I mean, there’s things as simple as, you know, I was going to the store and I saw, you know, my dad checking out the register. And so to say, I was going to say, you know, you know, while headed to the store or, you know, as I approached the store, so there’s ways to take it from the past and to just using active voice.

Also. It also, uh, cuts out words. So when you say I was going versus I went, you just lost a word, right? Which allows you to, gives you more words in the word count or just like had, had, or, you know, things that just kind of take you out of the immediate moment. They add additional words to the essay and sometimes it gets a little clunky and less concise.

So that’s what I mean about that, you know Just making sure you’re using active verbs and after words that places you in the present As opposed to you know words that signal from the past of course if you say, you know, you know It’s different than saying, when I was five years old, my mom moved to Portugal.

And that really changed my life. You were talking about the past, but you’re using active voice versus, you know, uh, using passive voice that, uh, just adds again, additional language and wordiness that kind of takes away from the present moment. So that’s what I mean by that. It really helps to center you.

We use active voice, but also. You’re also able to use, you know, be more creative in the verbs you use to describe moments and it often takes away an additional word. So instead of had had, or when I was going, you could just say walking or a verb that immediately signals what is happening without adding that additional.

Word which could, you know, be a detriment to the word count.

Stacey: Thank you so much for that clarification. I’m sure that was really helpful to those in the chat who weren’t entirely sure what you meant by that. Another really great question here. When it comes to the common app, there are a set of prompts and there is that general prompt right at the end where you can kind of choose your own topic.

Do you have any advice around. Whether or not it’s, you know, good application strategy to choose that last prompt and open ended prompt versus one of the more specific prompts. Have you had experiences where, you know, choosing that is not actually a great idea for some students versus others? Any feedback?

Aya: Uh, great question. So that choose your own prompt. Um, there is no advantage. Or disadvantage from choosing it. There’s no advantage from choosing the other one. Sometimes students write essays and I’m like, It doesn’t fit squarely with any of these topics. So I’m gonna just choose that one. So there’s no advantage or disadvantage.

If you write an essay, because it just aligns with your interest and who you are and the story you want to tell. And then you realize that the essay doesn’t actually answer any of the established prompts. Choose pick the choose your own prompt. I believe I chose the choose my own prompt when I applied to Georgetown some long time ago, 13 years ago, and it was fine.

So there’s not an advantage or disadvantage. Regardless of what prompt you choose, you do want to make sure you’re answering a prompt. So even if you choose your own prompt, you want to be telling a concise story, right? You don’t want it to just be some random kind of essay where it’s like, This, that, here, there, up, down, left, right, chair, frog.

You really want to make sure that it is like telling a concise and cohesive story. But, To be brief, there is no advantage or disadvantage from choosing any of the prompts. Just choose the one that aligns most with your response. And if you feel like the essay you wrote doesn’t respond squarely to any of them, just pick to choose your own response.

You’ll be fine.

Stacey: I love that. Great. Um, An interesting question. Have do you have advice around students who want to approach their response in a structurally or visually different way? Say, you know, a poem structure or have you seen unique approaches that have really worked for a student? Have they worked against the student?

Thoughts on that?

Aya: Well, great question. Thank you so much for whoever asked that question. When you write in the the portal, say for the common app, which is the most used application portal, right? Um, it often does its own kind of formatting. So sometimes say you wrote a poem and you wanted to write in stanza format, you might not have the ability to make certain indentations.

And when a missions officer Uploads it or look at it by other various kind of portals of CRMs in the format might be funky So, I mean I wouldn’t put too much stake in the format I and and I never read an essay and was like look at those stanzas like that is the winner It it really it’s about the content honestly, it’s really about the content and sometimes if it is a format with the if if your essay is It needs to have a particular type of format to make sense.

I would just think twice about that only because when, when it’s uploaded and downloaded by admissions offices, it could get distorted and you don’t have control over that. So, um, I would. I would not prioritize formatting as, you know, as much as the content. What is being said is most important. Because students do poems, I’ve seen recipes, which frankly I feel like are slightly overdone.

Whereas, you know, students, I’m 25 percent grit, 25 percent spunk. Another 30 percent of athleticism, you know, those are kind of overdone, frankly. So I’ve seen those types of styles, but again, I would not prioritize formatting. I really focus on the content because the format can be distorted just because of the pro like the, the software and how things are formatted.

Once things are downloaded by the admissions offices.

Stacey: Thank you so much, Aya. That was also a really great question. I think it’s, it’s, there’s so many different approaches and, um, it’s hard to really understand which one is the right one. I think the best advice that you, you’ve given and that I’ve heard is you’ll know when it’s the right approach because it will sound like you and it will be your voice.

Um, Another question here. A couple questions actually relate to academics. Um, and talking about those in essay responses. So one side of the coin is, you’re not as academically strong as you’d like to be applying to this particular school. Do you approach that topic in the essay? And vice versa. If you are academically matched or strong when it comes to this topic, school.

Is it worth talking about your academics in the essay? So kind of both sides of it. What do you think?

Aya: Great question. So I’ll answer the second question first. So if you feel like you are academically inclined and you’ve done well, it is not, in my opinion, appropriate to just harp on grades or academic excellence, if you will. In the personal statement, first of all, colleges and universities will have your transcript.

So they’ll, if you are a, all a student. They will be able to see who are all a student if you have extremely high test scores, they will have your test scores if you choose to submit them, and they will be able to see that also in so many ways, your college counselors might respond or talk about or discuss your academic performance.

Therefore, I will say, use that personal statement to talk about other things that is not easily understood or accessible via your transcript or grades and test scores. So. Think about, um, not, uh, wasting, if you will, your personal statement to talk about grades when you, um, particularly when you find them to be exceptional, you might want to use, uh, that space to talk about other parts of your identity and experiences, um, in your personal statement.

Now, if you feel like you’re, Uh grades or test scores may not be as strong as you would like as you know Or as competitive for the schools that you’re applying to the personal statement is also not the most appropriate place to talk about that Again, you have college counselors talk about that There also often is a extra question that asks if there’s something else you want to tell us That is the most appropriate place to kind of talk about that however, I want you to keep in mind that sometimes what you think might be inadequate might just be a You Very normal academic experience so drawing attention to things unless it’s very peculiar So for an example, say you had all a’s your freshman your sophomore Year, and then the second semester of your junior year that things went awry because you moved you got sick your parents divorce um A pandemic whatever it might be Then talk about, okay, you’ve seen my academic records suggest this, but this particular experience happened and I completely transformed my world, my life, therefore, but it’s not enough to say I was doing well.

And then AP Kim was hard and that lady didn’t like me. And then I got a B plus in a class as opposed to a minus that I wouldn’t waste application space for that. I want to talk only about your academic performance. If there was clearly a difference from a trajectory, and it was based on a external experience again, moving.

Death of a loved one. Maybe you got sick. Maybe a family member got sick. Maybe you relocated. Maybe you changed schools and you can say there was some, you know, something happened that, you know, disrupted my world and therefore, that’s why you might see a certain jump or switch. Otherwise, I would not dedicate real estate.

You know, I would not dedicate writing space to kind of talk about that. And the personal statement in particular is not the place for that.

Stacey: Thank you, I think that’s really great advice and I think now is a great time to talk a little bit more about some support from CollegeAdvisor, because we do have a lot of really specific questions in the chat that would require some 1 on 1 consultation.

So, for those in the room who aren’t already working with us. We know how overwhelming the admissions process can be, and our team of over 400 former admissions officers and admissions experts are ready to help you and your family navigate it all in one on one advising sessions. So take that next step in your college admissions journey by signing up for a free 45 to 60 minute strategy session with an admission specialist on our team using this QR code on the screen.

During this meeting, we’ll review your current extracurricular lists, and application strategy, discuss how they line up with your college list and outline the tools that you need to stand out and in a competitive admissions world. So, with that, let’s get back to the Q and a, I have a specific question in the chat here about sports essays.

So, if you’re interested in sports, and I believe you talked about this a little bit earlier in the presentation. Um, If you are interested in sports, sports is a really big part of who you are. Is the sports essay overused? What are your thoughts on kind of employing an essay about your interest in sports or struggles you’ve overcome in sports?

Aya: Yeah, thank you for that question. Again, sports essays are overused. I mean, that’s just the reality of the situation. Students write about sports in every way you can think about. Um, I’ve seen every, you know, version, like I’ve seen so many iterations of sports, um, including trials and tribulations, strengths, weaknesses, from hockey to roller derby.

Um, however, some students are saying, you know, will say, you know, I have dedicated my entire You know, educational life and childhood to sports, and I am adamant about writing about it by all means, right about it. You know, I would never say student. Absolutely not. However, I just want you to think about that admissions officers have read a lot of sports essays about every sport you can think of.

So just thinking about how can you make sure you are centering yourself and not the sport. And it’s, you know, you know, so instead of talking about how you lost the basketball game, even though you were a captain and he worked out really hard. Thinking about like what skills, what, you know, you had to endure, what you overcame, et cetera.

You really want to focus yourself versus the sport. So I would never, you know, kind of emphatically say absolutely not. However, we have read a lot of essays and it is over you. So I don’t want to lie about that. You know, when I, when I interviewed admissions officers for my research and I asked them what topics they read most often.

Sports is always the first response that they say. So that is, that is a reality. So, you know, and we’ve seen so many creative versions of people really trying to really kind of demonstrate that they’re different or distinct and talking about sports, but it is very common. So, so it’s just like, just thinking about that.

You can write, you can write about anything you want. I believe in agency. I think students have a right to tell their story in their own words and on their own terms. However, we have read, we have read a lot of sports essays. So I do want to be honest about that and not, you know, be untruthful.

Stacey: Yeah, thank you so much.

I think that’s really helpful and precisely answers the question at hand. Um, a little bit some more specific questions coming through here. So, 1, I’m going to try to make this a little bit more general. If somebody is talking about their inspiration to pursue medicine, it’s very common for, um. That person to talk about an individual in their life who is sick or who had an illness that inspired them to pursue medicine Um, how would you advise approaching the essay in that case?

I can picture so many advisees that have been in this exact situation How would you advise and give tips around approaching that essay given that you want to talk about yourself? Your inspiration directly aligns with somebody else.

Aya: Yeah, that’s a very common question. Again, I’ve advised students with a CollegeAdvisor all, you know, every obligation is that we have at least one student who is in this very particular predicament again, it is okay.

And I think it’s very appropriate to talk about your grandparent, your mom, your dad, um, who inspired you to, you know, or motivated you. Or encouraged you, um, to pursue medicine. You don’t want to spend if it’s 650 words, you don’t want to, you don’t want 400 of those words only describing that person. So if you do say, you know, when I was 10, you know, my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer and, you know, that motivated me to pursue, you know, Medicine.

So if you, if you establish that, then talk about you for the remain of the essay. I mean, you could talk about, you know, quotes that they said, or words that may have motivated you, but you don’t wanna say, you know, grandma was born in 1939 and she was a hairdresser and then she worked at the di. You know, you don’t want to spend the entire essay talking about grandma.

So I, I’ll say this is. Perfectly normal. Okay. I welcome it. I invited for you to talk about who and what motivates you. That’s the story of self We are not individuals who live on the island. We are often interacting with people We are motivated and inspired by people in our world and our lives and that’s a part of our lived experience So i’m not saying don’t talk about them in the essay.

I’m just saying, make sure the essay is rooted in you and your why and what about that person you learned and how you navigated it and how you’ve grown and the lessons learned as opposed to giving a biographical examination or grandma or grandpa or mom or dad. So That’s what I mean by that. So it’s so natural.

I have not interacted with a student who wanted to study medicine who had not talked about a relative or a friend or someone in their immediate circle that talked to that, you know, had a certain illness or challenge. However, you just don’t want to spend 400 out of the 650 words talking or centering another person.

Stacey: Perfect. Thank you so much. I am. Um, I so related to our last conversation about sports. I’m hoping maybe you have a few other ones at the top of your head. Are there any other topics besides sports that are overused that you can think of just a few to name?

Aya: Yeah. So question, um, topics about like, uh, going abroad to teach.

You know, or to tutor people from underrepresented backgrounds, missionary trips to Mexico or the continent of Africa, there’s always some saviorism that sick, that does not really resonate with the missions officers as often. Shows a level of privilege. Um, But and sometimes the framing of those conversations aren’t as thoughtful.

So missionary trips, going abroad to teach people languages or English are often very common for missionary trips, sports, death of a loved one. That’s very common. Um, um, and struggle, uh, okay, so this is a very nuanced one and as someone who studies trauma and college admissions, I say, so stories about kind of overcoming a struggle or trauma.

However, those look very distinct based on people’s identity and lived experiences, but stories rooted in struggle and trauma. Um, Are increasingly common, but again, those are not, that’s a, like a area, but not particular type of topic. So, yeah, so to name, you know, people going abroad for missionary trips.

So that’s religious, uh, sports injuries, grandparents, uh, you know, deaths or passing away trips abroad, travel abroad. And the edification that comes along with that, um, I said sports and that also includes dance. Those are the, I would say, the most common ones. Are those the ones, most common ones you encounter, Stacey?

Stacey: Yeah, so my, my area is a little niche. Um, I read a lot of public health specific applications. I will tell you that, um, the pre med essay, the medical school based essay is usually a very, um, common one, which is typically, you know, somebody I know sick and therefore inspired me to pursue medicine. That is probably the number one essay I experienced in my field.

Um, but I do see, uh, am I advising a lot of students leaning towards sports essays? Um, and I think the number one issue that I see in writing essays in general, just to avoid, because I think that’s really what this question is getting at is what do I avoid is an, uh, kind of an open ended, ramble, so talking about a topic and anecdote and not, and I, I, you alluded to this earlier with the, so what?

So who cares? You need to talk about why it mattered. You need to talk about the self reflection point without that, that essay doesn’t add anything to your application. So I do think that is the biggest pitfall. I think the real question is how do you make your essay powerful and not what topics to avoid?

Because if the topic works for you, You should write about it, but if that’s helpful, I am.

Aya: Yeah, very much so. Thank you.

Stacey: Yeah, of course. Um, so we have a few more minutes here for some additional essay, um, questions. Let’s dive in a little bit more to the technicalities of the essay. Um, I, uh, these are some pre submitted questions that haven’t been answered yet.

What, how much creative writing would you suggest you integrate into the essay? Do you feel that there’s kind of a magic? formula or format sometimes that really works? Like, would you suggest, you know, you start with this, the middle section is this, ends this way, thoughts on a format or structure if you were advising somebody?

Aya: Yeah, I mean, the personal statement in itself is a creative essay, right? It’s a creative format, right? You’re writing for a very specific purpose and a style of prose where you may not do that again, especially if you don’t apply for graduate school or programs that may require that, scholarship essays, etc.

You know, I always tell, you know, you want to use that intro paragraph to set the stage and you can signal what that’s going to be about. You can, um, you know, students might use quotes. or popular phrases, you know, you know, my grandfather’s once said these words, dah, dah, dah, you know, and then in this, the middle, the sandwich of the meat of the sandwich, if you will, or if you’re a vegetarian like me, the lettuce or vegetables of the sandwich, you know, you’re talking, you’ve given examples, right?

So again, I emphasize earlier, you want to show and don’t tell. So if you say, you know, through my grandfather, I learned, you know, these three Y’s. Words, and you have an example in each paragraph of the wise words that he shared with you, you really want to show and describe in a very, you know, thoughtful way, those words, what they meant to you.

And then you want to conclude, you know, you want to revisit what’s the premise of the thesis statement, if you will, of that initial kind of intro paragraph and say, how will that then inform how you’re going to go into the future? And it doesn’t have to be like, because of this, I want to be a doctor. It can be, you know, because of this, I’m more open minded or I learned these particular lessons.

So, um, yeah. So again, you want to set the stage with that intro paragraph. You want to, you know, invite us in as the reader. You want to engage us, right? We’re going to read thousands of essays. You want to use those, uh, middle paragraphs, the meat or the vegetables of Between the Bridge to really kind of give examples and really showcase.

You know, your why and really kind of lean into like really describing and showing these experiences and you didn’t want to conclude revisiting, you know, the premise established in the intro. Um, and kind of, you know, talking about your vision for the future. So I think that is the formula. It looks very different based on the student and the.

Salad variety, but I think that, uh, that recipe tends to work, you know, students might use different ingredients, but I think that’s the general kind of format.

Stacey: Great. Um, a theme that I’m seeing. So can we try and talk about the technical side of things? And I’d like to wrap up with this general discussion, the huge question, both in preregistration and in the chat.

Basically centers around how do I really make myself unique? Um, one individual had question. How do I make it sound? Like, I am a really unique individual with all these experiences, without making it sound like, well, I’m, I’m better than everyone else, you know, how do I go about this humbly? Um, thoughts, advice, while also emphasizing my uniqueness.

Aya: Well, I’ll say this, emphasizing your uniqueness. humility are not mutually exclusive, so I’ll say that. I also think sometimes we prioritize too much of standing out, where we need to think about just being ourselves, and sometimes being who we are doesn’t mean we just stand out. It just makes us, you know, So I will worry less about distinguishing yourself and more so just about being authentic to your lived experiences.

I think that’s the most important thing and this entire kind of piece. Uh, so I always say prioritize the story of self is what I, you know, I tell students I work with and also in the work that I do ourself, our story. Um, it’s more important than anything else. You know, if they like it, they like it. But if they don’t, then, you know, that that is their prerogative.

I also feel like, um, universities don’t know things unless you tell them. So, this idea of humility is something I wouldn’t be concerned about. Um, I just just say your truth and what. Is aligned with who you are, what matters to you. Don’t worry about seeing humble because if you omit things, because you, you’re afraid of looking like you’re bragging, how else would be what they know?

So if you accomplish the feet that you think are important, if you excelled in all these ways. If you don’t write about it or talk about it, how else would they, they don’t know you. They only have what you write and your application. So I just say, just tell your truth. And if it looks like bragging to people, then it is what it is, but I wouldn’t deny yourself of, you know, talking about who you are and what you represent and what you’ve done because you’re afraid of what other people might say.

Stacey: Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. Um, you are your own advocate in this process and nobody else is going to advocate for you the same way that you would. And, uh, the thoughts in your brain quite literally cannot be read by admissions officers. So it’s best to put them down on paper. So we get to know you better.

And with that, I’d like to wrap up our presentation for this evening. Thank you to everyone or morning or afternoon, wherever you are today. Thank you for everyone to come for coming out tonight. And thank you to our panelists. That is the end of the webinar. We had a really great time telling you about admissions officers advice, making your essay shine and here’s our July webinar series for reference.

Thank you. Everyone. Thank you, Aya.

Aya: Thank you.