Crafting Your Story: Effective Strategies for College Essays

Webinar Transcription

2023-10-24 – Crafting Your Story: Effective Strategies for College Essays

Stacey: Hi, everyone. My name is Stacey Tuttle, and I am your moderator today. Welcome to, “Crafting Your Story: Effective Strategies for College Essays.” So to orient everyone with the webinar timing, we’ll start off with the presentation, then answer your questions in a live Q and A. On the sidebar, you can download our slides and you can start submitting questions in the Q and A tab.

Now, without further ado, let’s meet our wonderful panelist, Aya.

Aya: Hello, good evening, good morning, or good afternoon everyone. I am Aya Waller-Bey and I will be your panelist tonight discussing crafting your story and effective strategies for college essays. So a little bit about me. I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan where I live now.

I went to Georgetown University for undergrad or study sociology and then shortly after I graduated I became an admissions officer and coordinator of multicultural recruitment. So I worked in that office and again, read for primarily for states in the Midwest, but also did the multicultural aspect of our process and then became a Gates Cambridge scholar and went to the University of Cambridge in England, where I got my master’s in philosophy of education.

While there, I became an alumni interviewer for Georgetown. So I got to interview our applicants in the Metro London area, which was also fantastic. Um, and then I returned to Um, Michigan where I am now and completing my PhD in sociology at the University of Michigan. And fun fact, I studied the college admissions essay.

So this is really my jam, something I enjoy discussing and supporting young people in the process with. Um, and also I forgot to mention in my intro, I am a proud first generation college student. And just in case you don’t know what that means, I was the first person in my family to go to college. So I’m very passionate about college access and again, helping young people navigate the college admissions process.

So. Very excited to take your questions and to talk to you all about the college essay.

Stacey: Amazing. Yes, we are very good hands tonight. I’m excited for this presentation, as I’m sure you all are. Before we dive in, I just want to get started getting to know you. Um, who’s in the room today? So some of you might be, um, currently in the middle of your application processes, right?

Some of you might be Seniors, maybe some juniors in the room who are preparing for next year. We might have some underclassmen and something that might be, you know, parents, um, those who might be supporting high school applicants. So really give us a sense of who you are. Um, and I, in the meantime, is there, I know we’re all in the thick of, you know, reading applications and helping our advisees right now.

Is there an essay topic that you found to be more common this season than others? Or, more common this season.

Aya: Oh, that’s a really good question.

Stacey: Or like maybe a subject matter that you’ve seen more perhaps.

Aya: Yeah. I’m like going through like my arsenal. I feel like my, my mind is a file cabinet and I’m fine. I’m like looking through. Yeah. Yeah.

Stacey: Yeah. Huh.

Aya: There isn’t one that comes immediately to mind, but I think that’s going to come up as I talk and I, and I’ll acknowledge that when I get to the point in my memory. Um, because I know people are going to ask that question and I’m thinking What have I seen this cycle?

I’ve seen such a diversity of essays I’ve seen. Okay, so generally I’ve seen a lot of service oriented essays, um, essays about, um, mentorship or essays about people starting initiatives in their school, um, to, to bridge gaps or to help. You know, a community or organization or a certain type of, uh, certain communities who might have fewer resources.

I’ve seen more kind of service oriented when I really think about it.

Stacey: Oh, amazing. Yeah, I, I think I’ve seen a little bit of an uptick in that as well. Um, I’ve seen a lot of resiliency based essays. So on that note, let’s turn back over to the poll. So it looks like we, as I sort of expected, have a lot of seniors in the room.

We have some juniors and we have some in the other category. So maybe, you know, you’re a post grad. Maybe you are someone supporting a high school student. So welcome to all of you. I’m going to turn this over to you. I have for the main part of the presentation. Um, and then I will see you again at the Q and a. So, um, I take it away.

Aya: Awesome. And so of course, it’s, you know, the lay of the land. So what types of essays do you students have to write for the college application? And I know we have quite a few seniors in this space. So you all are probably in the thick of the process, but for those who are not, um, Let’s kind of talk a little bit about that.

So first, you have the college personal statement or the main essay. That is the essay. I feel like that takes up a lot of attention in both the media and also in the broad college admissions process. The personal statement is an essay submitted to colleges and universities that showcase your voice, your writing skills, and reveal depth and add context of the application.

As Stacey and I, you know, just talked about a little earlier about some of the topics we see, you know, we’ve seen most often, um, that is often kind of seen in that college admissions essay where you have more students submitting the essay, uh, the personal statement. We have additional supplement essays for some schools that’s not required by the majority of schools, I’ll say, won’t require a supplement essay.

Um, and that’s where you get students, you know, talking about, um, school, responding to school specifically. prompts or questions, right? So unlike the personal essay, supplements are required by some colleges and they’re used to highlight fit. So you’ll get more. Why us essay? So why, you know, why Georgetown or why University of Michigan so that you’re more likely to see those types of questions in your supplement essays.

And then you have the scholarship essay. Now that’s less common for college applications, but students may write them sometimes for merit based scholarships. or grants. So in some competitions or some application processes, rather, students will submit, you know, their full application and then maybe consider just based on their academic profile for some merit based aids or scholarship.

In some cases, there might be, you know, inside the portal, there are additional essays that students have to write to be eligible for scholarship, but also an honors college, right? So there are, in some cases, additional essays. I would like to point out, and I was on a webinar, um, not too long ago with someone who works for the Common App, right, which is our, the largest application submission portal where we get, I, the majority of the students that I work with here for CollegeAdvisor and also students I encounter elsewhere use the Common App to submit applications.

I did learn that less than half of the universities on the Common App require a personal statement. So again, You have more, you’re more likely to see the personal statement and supplement essays for some of our more selective institutions. But surprisingly, there are more schools that don’t require a personal statement or essay at all than schools that do.

So what is the significance of the college essay? So the college essay is an opportunity for you to speak directly to admissions officers and really allows you to add that unique touch, that personal touch, that personal narrative, right? I often tell people, you know, when you think about components of a college application.

You have the college transcript, you have standardized testing if you choose to submit them, you have extracurricular activities. Those are often things that, you know, show how you performed over a period of time, right? So you might have played soccer, you’re a So since ninth grade and your activities list is talking about things that you have done, your transcript is a record of the past, right?

The transcript is showing what you did in your freshman year, your sophomore year, your junior year of high school. And then you also have, you know, the letters that teachers write about your experience, the experiences that they’ve had with you in a classroom. Right? Those are all talking about what happened in the past, and they’re coming from, in most cases, someone else.

But that personal statement allows you to speak directly to the admissions office or officers or committees, right? And it gives you to tell your story in your own words. While some sentences Schools might ask students to write, create resumes or bullet points to provide to letter writers. Um, so they might have some context that essay is really just you speaking directly to the admissions officers.

And then it also adds qualitative information to your application. So you again, you have those grades and test scores if you choose to submit them. Those are more quantitative things that are quantified in a very distinct way. While the essay allows you to kind of speak again in words in a more qualitative way about who you are, Who you, um, want to be, what your aspirations are, what’s your background, what identities you possess, uh, matter to you, etc.

Now, what factors make for a great essay and how you can stand, and how can students stand out? This is a very, very, very popular question. Students are always concerned about standing out. One of the reasons people feel so concerned about standing out is because we are inundated with information on websites, TikTok, Reddit, blogs, college admissions, Facebook groups, you name it, that talks about students trying to differentiate themselves because so many students are high performers or have a certain GPA.

I often tell students that to worry less about standing out and just worry more about being authentic. You know, a great college essay really presents your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner. So you want to be thoughtful and you want to be concise and cohesive. Um, I think an essay that really tells a coherent story.

That allows the reader to follow easily really shines. Um, then a student who’s throwing everything but the kitchen sink in an essay to try to do too many things at one time. You also want to use specific and concrete examples to convey points and really focus on examples in the present and near past.

I actually read an essay today where a student, um, you know, talked a lot, like, use bra language to, um, to talk about some of the qualities that they feel like they now possess, but they never really gave specific examples or created concrete examples to convey. They just, you know, they, they made an assumption that as a reader, I was going to be able to get what they were implying.

Um, and I think that is, uh, that’s something you want to avoid doing. You really want to be able to provide concrete examples. Again, a grade college essay also tells admissions officers about a student. It could be personal triumphs or challenges, leadership opportunities, and your experiences outside the classroom.

Again, they’re going to see your extracurricular lists, especially if you apply using the Common App, and you have the option to write 10 or include 10 activities. They may also, um, and then they also will have your grades, um, So they’ll be able to see what you’ve done in the classroom, but you really want to be able to talk a little bit more at depth to your application and maybe even highlight a side that you didn’t really get to show elsewhere in the application, right, just because of space or what the questions or application was asking of you.

And naturally you want to use and demonstrate good grammar. Um, they are not admissions officers, don’t have the time, capacity, or desire to nitpick whether or not there’s a common splice, a comma splice rather. You of course want to write a well written essay. You want to check for, you know, grammatical issues.

Um, so it’s not, you know, use, to in most cases, let me say that because there are institutions who do use the common app essay as a writing sample. But in most cases, they’re really just trying to, you know, make sure it’s telling them about the student. So no, if you submit an essay, I saw a parent say, Say this today in an organization I’m a part of and they say oh my god my student I said press submit and I we noticed there was a small grammatical error Um, we’re panicking.

What do we do? Do we call the school? No, you go you want to proofread you want to submit earlier than a deadline Um, you want to demonstrate good use of grammar, but if you have one grammatical mistake or one comment out of place It will not be the end of days. Okay. So what factors make for a great essay and how can students stand out?

Again, a great college essay first ensures that the, that the essay answers the question. I cannot emphasize that enough. You especially want to think about that in a supplements that might ask, you know, why do you want to attend, you know, this school? So if you’re talking about, well, my favorite sport is soccer and I played soccer since I was six and I was on the soccer league and we went to school.

state and then I was, you know, then I met David Beckham and then it’s like, okay, thanks for sharing. What does that have to do with? Why do you want to go to this school? Right? So you really want to make sure you’re answering the question that is important. You know, the common app has six prompts and one of the promises choose your own, you know, like choose your own adventure.

Uh, I’ll see. Sometimes I’ll see students respond to one of the named prompts, but or choose the prompt they’ll choose will ask a specific question, but the essay that they write does not respond to that particular question. And then I’ll have to tell them, hmm, there might be a different question you want to write.

Like this essay is fine, but you’re not actually answering what this prompt is asking of you. And you might want to think about choosing one of the other prompts or none of them fit. Might you, might I suggest, you know, choosing the other prompt that asks you to. You know, you can use whatever essay you want to use.

So again, make sure you’re answering the question. You also want to again, effectively describe how the experience you talk about has led to some type of growth or understanding of belongingness, personal maturity, um, open mindedness, you know, you really, you know, you could tell a story, like, I think we all are kind of in position.

We could tell a story, you know, about one day I woke up and I did this thing. Um, but it’s just not enough to just talk about an experience. We can do that in any way you want to answer the question, but you also want to show You know, you really want to communicate what you learned and why we should care Like why should I care about this particular experience you had like what happened?

What did you learn? What should I learn about you from this essay? You know, I often ask students when they see essays And you know, I’m like, it’s a little convoluted. I’ll ask them, what is this essay communicating about you? What did you want it to communicate about you? Are those things aligned? And I’ll ask them, what are you, what do you think is communicating?

And then I’ll tell them what I’m. reading and seeing. And sometimes those things are not always the same. So you really, again, want to make sure, um, you’re talking about personal growth or understanding of belongingness and really driving home the point why we should care. A good college essay, again, or great, rather, ensures that it reflects the student’s voice.

Again, it should be polished. It should be free of major grammatical errors and typos, but it also should not read like a mom, dad, college professor, which. could be all the same person, you know, or, you know, um, you know, a professional wrote. It should sound like a student, you know, wrote it. And again, as I mentioned earlier, you want to use concrete examples and really show us as opposed to telling us what’s happening in the story.

So how can I highlight my unique experiences and personality in my essays? So again, we talked about this a little earlier. I want you to think about being authentic. So you being who you are is unique, right? And what I mean by that is every day you wake up, you are individual, even if you’re a twin and you have multiple siblings, you occupy your own body of your own set of ideas, experiences, even if you’re from a community that you feel like is homogenous.

I often get students who say, Well, I live in suburbia. Everybody kind of look, the home’s your cookie cutter. We go to the same schools. We have the same sports. I had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. My parents know my neighbors. My neighbors knew me since I was one. Everyone does the same thing.

While there might be some patterns and habits that is common in the neighborhood and the culture of the neighborhood, um, You still wake up every day as an individual. So talk about your experience, your lens, your ideas, what inspires, inspires you, what motivates you, what challenges you face internally or externally.

So I often tell students, again, focusing on your own story and lived experience, make a list of five to seven memorial memorable experiences that stand out to you. So, and stand out to you. Is a critical, critical point, right? That should be in bold. That’s how important it because so often students are writing essays or responding to questions because they think it’s what the admissions officers want to read.

And I will tell you, as someone who interviews admissions officers from private universities across the country, they reiterate that they want to read. They want to read the stories that you want to tell. Right? And you really want the experience to be significant to you. So, it can be, you know, the day you discover an author.

It could be, um, the day you received a diagnosis for something, right? This whole time, you were trying to figure out what was happening with your body, and then you realized you have celiac or something. It could be, you know, it could just be the day, you know, you got your first B. That’s actually a bad example, but it’s just something that was significant, right?

So five to seven memorable experience events, right? So that’s how you get the juices flowing. Also, you want to ask people you know and trust to describe you. I think this is a really, really fantastic way of like really figuring out like, hmm, how, how, how am I, self presenting in the world. And you want to consider how their descriptions match your self perception.

You want to reflect on those similarities and consider incorporating those qualities into your essay. Now, this is different than, you know, writing to respond to the needs of the audience. people. It’s really saying like sometimes we can’t see the beauty in our own lived experiences. That’s one of the best things I love about working with students is really listening to them describe something and their eyes light up or them talking about their family or their community or their church or their team and their eyes light up and they’re like, well, that’s not important.

I’m like, wow, you really just spoke at length about this really interesting thing about your identity and your background. You didn’t think it was significant, but your eyes lit up and there was clearly something you’re passionate about. So sometimes we have to talk out our, our ideas to really see the beauty of them and then also again, incorporating elements of culture that can include language or expressions that reflect distinct cultural experiences.

Um, I’ve seen so many, um, I’ve been working actually quite a bit with international students, uh, here with CollegeAdvisor and. Learning about different cultures and traditions have been so beautiful to me. Uh, and then also I have, uh, uh, I’ve worked with students from the Midwest and they kind of talked about their close knit communities.

And again, the culture, the community, the things that they value and their ability to eloquently kind of talk about those things. I think it’s so special. So, you know, again, incorporate those things. elements of culture. It could be family traditions, you know, it could be the family recipe. There’s just things that are important and unique to your lived experience and I want you to lean into that.

Again, worry less about what you think they expect and worry more about what you want to communicate and convey about the person you are. Now, what are some common mistakes, um, to avoid in college essays? Well, One of the more popular ones is certainly writing essays that focus on other people. So, for an example, you know, some people will write essays about, you know, a grandparent, right?

Um, they want to tell the story of a grandparent and they want to talk about how that grandparent inspired them to pursue medicine because the grandparent unfortunately got sick, um, from, you know, a disease or something and now they really want to be able to get ahead of that. However, you know, they might spend the whole essay talking about grandma, like how wonderful grandma is, like, or how wonderful she was, and like what they learned from her and how she telling, you know, grandma’s life story and how she moved from a rural community and went to college, etc.

And then the essay ends up being a essay about like, why we should admit grandma. And, you know, grandma is not applying to school you are right. So You know, you want to be able to, you can talk about people who inspire and motivate you. You actually might be asked a question such as, you know, you know, talk about the person who inspires you the most, right?

Um, however, you want to make sure the connection to you is very strong and that you’re also centering yourself. Um, so also avoid writing essays about overly common or controversial topics such as sports and politics. Um, this is a tricky one Um, I my thinking has advanced a great deal about this Um, if you talk to any admissions officer They will say that one of the more most popular or common topics is sports and students, you know, tearing.

Um, What’s the thing students tear like ACL? Winning the championship game losing the championship game Getting cut from the team, working hard over the summer to join, rejoin the team, um, enter team conflicts, uh, traveling with the team. You know, we read a lot of sports essays. It is true. And for some young people, if you have played hockey, Your entire life and hockey is important to you.

You want you want to write about hockey, right? Um, so that is that is very true. Um, students, you know, want to write about things that are important to them. We want to prioritize authenticity. However, it is very common. Right? So will you receive an automatic denial because you write, you wrote about your love for your, uh, hockey team?

No, it’s not going to be automatic denial, but just know it is a part of some of the stories we see often politics. And especially during this current landscape, it’s just something you want to be weary of. You know, one thing we say is you don’t know who’s reading the essay. Like you don’t know who’s on the other side, right?

We have assumptions, but we don’t know. Um, And you don’t want to offend the sensibilities of anyone. Now, I say this as someone who went to Georgetown and in Washington, D.C., the nation’s capital. So I went to school with people who had strong political aspirations, who, who love certain politicians, who dislike certain politicians.

And that was one of their motivations of Applying to college, studying in government. That’s what we call, uh, some schools say political science. We say government at Georgetown. Um, you know, that was their motivation. So they were able to talk about it for sure. But you just want to be, you know, careful about how much you lean into that.

Uh, you also want to avoid writing essays that read like they were written a college professor. Um, they’re increasingly, um, students are grappling with how to engage, if at all, with artificial intelligence, such as chapter BT. Um, and I will say I have, I’ve read a draft of a student’s essay and I immediately knew it was written, um, chapter BT.

There was just, the, the language was just so, I could just tell, like, I didn’t run it through one of those checkers, but there was something that, the certain types of phrasing, it was very spot on, like, I am resilient because of this, I was like, okay, I feel like there was a, they put in, how do you talk about being a resilient, you know.

volleyball player or something. So yeah, you just want to again, write your own essay. Like this is write your own essay, write it in your own voice. Like this is your lived experience. And this is an important, you know, step because you will be writing essays in college, you know? Um, and you again, do not have, don’t over edit them.

Don’t allow people to over edit them to the point that your voice is gone. Um, cause I see that happen a lot as well. Again, you want to avoid mentioning experiences without describing them. Again, show, don’t tell. So instead of like talking about, you know, You know, through if you say that, I say through, you know, through my experiences, um, on the volleyball team, I became a leader and then say, you know, leadership is very important to me, but you don’t talk about those experiences, you know, you need to kind of give an example because otherwise we’re like, okay, well, what were the experiences?

You also want to avoid naming a university or college in the personal statement. So when you submit personal statements, the goal is to write one and submit it to all your schools. So it’s not really appropriate to say, you know, and for that reason I want to go to CollegeAdvisor university, um, because that CollegeAdvisor university might get it, but so might Georgetown, you know, so you really want to write one essay and avoid naming a university in the personal statement.

Now on the supplements and the school specific prompts, By all means you can do that. You want to avoid overly using a thesaurus. I know folks, again, want to make a good impression. Like, look at me. I’ve seen essays and I’m like, I don’t think this word is the most appropriate word. It’s clearly, it’s not a good fit.

So be careful about that. Also avoid complex sentences that could be written in multiple smaller sentences. I see this a lot. I was guilty of this. I may still be guilty of this in my writing as an academic, but you really want to shorten those sentences. One sentence should not be a whole paragraph, folks.

And I see it all the time. And whenever possible, you want to just use active voice. So, you know, instead of talking about something that had had, or something that was going to happen, just use an active verb, okay? So thinking about this, how can students write creatively about themselves again while still being clear and concise?

So you want to stick to a structure to ensure ideas remain organized, right? So I’ve seen so many different structures. I’ve seen people write essays as recipes. I feel I see less of that now, but when I worked in admissions, I saw that a lot and I was like, who’s telling people to do this? And so, um, you know, formatting can be a little funky sometimes in the portal when in the common app portal.

So try to stick to even like the physical, like how you write the essay in a more traditional format. It’s just easier to read. Sometimes spacing gets a little weird. I’ve been reading a lot of essays and spacing has gotten a little janky. So, you know, just write it in a traditional essay like you would, you know, and paragraph form.

Um, you also just, again, want to stick to a structure, right? A beginning, middle, and end. Like, even if it’s a creative essay, even if you start with a poem, even if you start the essay with a quote, even if you start it with a, uh, uh, something in a native tone that isn’t English, you still need to have some type of organization, right?

Again, you want to watch out for long and complex, complex synthesis. I mean, I was editing an essay today, and again, it was. I mean, there was probably five sentences in the whole essay because they were so long and they don’t have to be long, you know, try to be as concise as possible. Again, you want to incorporate elements of your culture and reflect distinct cultural experiences.

You also want to try to define less well known terms or expressions. So you might assume like because you see something on TikTok or you hear people talk about something in a very specific way that everybody knows what you’re talking about. Maybe not. So, sometimes when in doubt, you want to explain what the different expressions might mean.

And you also want to write a personal narrative that prioritize individual moments of growth. So, You really want to talk about, again, what you learned from it, what you, how you’ve grown, you know, what does that mean for your future, the type of student you’ll be, what type of roommate you’ll be, the type of friend you’ll be, what type of lab mate you’ll be.

So, um, those are things to really think about, um, in pursuing creativity while still being clear and concise. So and think about how to edit their essays effectively, you know, one of the features I know a lot of people use google docs. Um, that’s what we use a lot in CollegeAdvisor But you know if you have the Microsoft suite, um, I really love to just put my essays my papers uh My dissertation chapters in Microsoft word and use the read aloud feature because it really catches things that sometimes we can’t catch Especially if we’ve spent a lot of time on a particular.

Um, You You know, story or essay. You also want to proofread, and this is an example I like to use, you know, you can say, you can write, I enjoy torturing animals. I’ve volunteered torturing animals at a local shelter since eighth grade, and the experience solidified, and the experiences solidified my desire to become a veterinarian.

Now, the word torturing is spelled correctly here, right? But I am almost certain the student did not want to torture animals. That would be a red flag, right? Um, but they really want to stay trained, right? So they enjoy training animals. But because they’re like, they know what they meant to say. So their mind, their brain automatically read it correctly.

So having other people look at your essays is so important. Um, that means. Being last minute or procrastinating is dangerous because if you’re writing, you know, your essay on Halloween and it’s due on November 1st for early action, early decision, and it’s Halloween, you know, you’re eating snicker bars and writing at 10:59 p.m. I mean, it’s going to be hard to get anyone to look at it and, you know, 30 minutes, right? And you should not be submitting your application. You know, the day of or the day before. I really encourage you to try to, if it’s due November 1st, to at least try to get it done, you know, um, what’s the Sunday before?

I think November 1st is a Wednesday. Uh, I know it’s not always possible, but please aim for that just for yourself. Okay? Um, and again, you want to give yourself at least 24 hours to not look at it before reading it again because you need fresh eyes. What are the essays that have stood out to me? So, you know, essays really that reflect, right?

So essays that reflect student ambition and growth, essays that highlight student tenacity, essays that paint colorful photos of the human experience. And what I mean by that is, you know, I have, I’ve worked with a lot of students who have jobs and I always love when students talk about their job and work experience.

That’s a under, sometimes we undervalue that in our own heads when even if you worked at Starbucks. You know, as opposed to, I shadowed a doctor. You know, not everyone has the resources and the means to do that. So we have students who need to work to support themselves. Maybe they’re saving up for a car.

Maybe they’re helping their families. So even, you know, talking about working in the drive through window at Starbucks, you know, and talking about the customers you meet and the interactions you have with your colleagues could be a really beautiful essay. I also read recently a student who, uh, Talked about, um, how she went from being like a shy student to doing stand up comedy.

Uh, and I loved it. It was a fantastic essay. Um, and it was, um, of course that was a clear example of like personal growth, but kind of talked about how finding her voice will literally write in figuratively. Through this and how she challenged herself. I mean, it takes a lot of courage to do something like that and diverse audiences.

And she talked about one time she bombed, um, but she still did it and how that type of, you know, still kind of, even when you’re bombing, you know, trying it again, dusting yourself off and how that impacted other areas of her life. I thought that it was just a fantastic essay. And I don’t think I ever, that was my very first time reading any essay in my entire career of a student writing about.

So, so final tips, uh, as we kind of near the end of this before answering, before I start answering your questions, um, again, show, don’t tell. So, instead of saying, again, I learned a lot volunteering at the Cleveland Animal Shelter. Which again, okay, you learned a lot about when she had to clean the animal shelter.

That’s the sentence Try while feeding the sick puppies with the other shelter volunteers. I learned the importance of teamwork and compassion, right? So here in this example, you’re showing right? Um What you did, right? So you’re feeding the sick puppies with the other shelter volunteers and you’re talking about what you specifically learned, right?

So i’m just saying I learned a lot. Uh now you’re talking about, you know, the important You And what, what the qualities were. Again, you want to share lessons learned. You want to detail how the experiences you write about inform your future and the type of student you’ll be adding, you’ll be in college.

So you don’t have to say like these skills will help me in college to do X, Y, Z. Like the essay may not call for that, but sometimes when you talk about the growth you’ve had, or say you started a organization, a nonprofit that advocates for like literacy, In your school because you go to a really well-resourced school district, but you know, a neighboring school district doesn’t have the same resources.

So you, you know, created a nonprofit or you created a, a student club to mentor or tutor or help students with literacy. You know, the qualities you talk about your ability to a, uh, advocate and to galvanize and make impact. If admissions officer was reading that, they’re like, okay, this is something. You know, the student might do on our campus, right?

That type of energy might be a good fit for our campus. So again, you really want to, um, think about how your experiences that you talk about will also inform your future again. Can I say this enough, please proofread so you don’t write an essay about torturing animals when you meant to train them. And again, you really want to tell your story right about your own experiences and not someone else’s.

So those are some really good tips. Uh, to think about

Stacey: I, as always, such a helpful presentation. Thank you so much. What a great overview, especially at this time of year. So, all of you in the room who are working on essays right now, I hope you found this to be helpful. Maybe some of you need to go back to the drawing board a little bit, maybe get a 2nd read, right?

Proofread proofread proofread. Um, so I do want to get into the Q and a now it looks like we have already some in the chat. So I want to start there. So one of the first questions here is, is it okay to write essays that describe experiences working in a team, right? And I know you talked about the kind of the caution around talking about other people.

Do you want to elaborate on that a little bit more?

Aya: Yeah. I mean, I think there’s a difference between talking about, uh, other people, like solely like talking about, I say about your grandma’s journey, you know, to nursing school, as opposed to talking about like working with a team, whether it’s a sport or a, um, your job, like the other baristas that you work with at Starbucks.

For sure. I think you can highlight a lot about yourself, about communicating what you learned from working as a, being a teammate, whether it’s, you know, discussing, you know, um, your ability to collaborate or, um, having to manage or resolve conflict, or maybe you learned something about someone else that helped you develop empathy that may have inspired you.

So for sure, it is certainly okay to write about that.

Stacey: Yeah, I totally agree. I think it’s actually a skill that admissions officers would like to see is your ability to work in a team. This is going to be a very popular question. Mental health as a topic in essays, right? Is it appropriate to talk about your mental health?

When is it appropriate? If it is appropriate, when is it not appropriate?

Aya: Yeah, that’s a great question. And I guess going back to the question you asked earlier, Stacy, I do think I’ve seen mental health Um, more and I will say my again, my colleagues, the admissions officers I interviewed for my research also talked about mental health and anxiety being to, um, kind of responses they’ve seen more than they have in the past.

Uh, is it okay to write about mental health? Sure on face value. Absolutely. I think it is definitely more popular. It’s less stigmatized and universities now have more language and more resources to topic to help support students. Um, and I will be honest with you all, and I have said this before 10 years ago.

So if you would have asked me that question, I would have a different answer. I do think again, our conversations about mental health have grown tremendously and both. in the academy and outside the academy. I think it’s more common. I think students are have language now to talk about the things that they endure.

Um, there are more resources now to address it. Um, but like, again, with, with anything you want to talk about just not mental health, but you know, not, um, how did it impact you, what you learned from it and also how are you managing it now? Because there, there is something to say about. Uh, something that feels unresolved.

Right? So if you’re talking about things that you are doing, maybe whether it’s, um, maybe you have therapy or maybe you found strategies to address it. Those are things important to say. Because it’s just going it’s like how okay you have you’ve had these challenges. How are you navigating them? And how will you navigate them when you are in college because unfortunately College can be a high pressure environment for some students.

Um, so yeah, so it is okay to write about it I always tell students to just be mindful that we never know who’s on the other side And um, you never know who’s reading it So whatever if you choose to write about it, make sure it’s something you’re comfortable with with multiple eyes reading because it might be in front of a committee.

It might be in front of a regional admissions officer. It might be in front of a dean. So just be mindful of like what you share and with whom you’re sharing because I don’t think we often think about who’s on the other side of that. So if you are comfortable writing about it and you don’t feel pressured or coerced and you feel like this is a way to talk about your story, um, Um, I would say right about it, um, but just being mindful about how much you choose to share, um, because not everything may be appropriate.

These are strangers at the end of the day. They don’t know you and you don’t know them. So just being able to honor, you know, being authentic while, you know, making sure you’re sharing, uh, what you want and, um, to share and what you feel like it’s appropriate to share.

Stacey: Right. I totally agree with you. And I just want to say kudos to all in the chat today.

We have some really great questions. Um, on the note of mental health topics and any topics really, uh, my advice to students is always, you know, um, check yourself as you’re writing it, is the information you’re providing to an admissions officer useful knowledge for them in Deciding whether or not you’re going to be contributing to their, their campus life, their, their classroom life, that is the information important for them to know in light of their goal as an admissions officer, right?

And I think that often allows students say, okay, maybe this isn’t the most useful information to provide in the 650 word space relevant to this most recent question. Um, we just talked about mental health. But similar question regarding writing about learning disabilities. Do you give similar advice in that regard, Aya?

Aya: Yeah, I think what you just said, Stacey, actually, um, is really spot on. Learning, excuse me, learning disabilities, especially diagnosed learning disabilities, I think It’s slightly different. Um, and and what I mean by that is, um, there are special accommodations that are made in a host of ways, like, well, there’s an individual education plan, whether it’s, uh, is it 504,

Stacey: you know, I think at the high school level, it might be 504, right?

Remember at college?

Aya: Yeah. Um, and also you just want to make sure that the university, you know, also has resources to support you, um, when you, when you are on campus. And one thing to keep in mind is you are just as much you are, they’re vetting you in this admissions process, you’re vetting them. So I, I, I often tell people if a school does not want to admit you because you have a learning disability, that is also not a school you will want to attend anyway, because they are clearly not going to provide the support or have the infrastructure to help you thrive.

And that is number one. Period. But similar to Stacey, what Stacey just said, you know, thinking about what does telling this story communicate about you? How and what will it communicate to the institution? Um, you know, how does this align with the larger picture? Um, and, um, I want to be clear here that as much as colleges and universities have processes that they go through every year to evaluate applications, it is still a subjective process that people enter with their own biases and subjectivities.

That will inform how they read applications. So that is often something to think about. It is not an objective process. Um, and especially as universities use holistic admissions practices, there’s all these factors that come into play. So I said that to say is not black and white. It is very hard to say absolutely yes or absolutely no.

If we have not read your application and we have not read your essay because we’re just kind of speaking broadly. It is a very, it depends how it is. frame, what type of learning disability it is. I’ve heard people feel nervous about, you know, those types of disclosures. But I also feel like if it’s important to you, and again, if it’s going to talk about your story in a way that you feel most aligned with that question you are responding to, and most reliant alliance with how you want to be described, then do it.

And if the school rejects that for whatever reason, if it’s simply because of an essay and what you disclose about your learning disability. Then that is not a school you will want to attend anyway.

Stacey: Amazing. Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. I think that was a really great segue between those, those two topics.

Um, okay. So another question here, um, somebody was asking from earlier in the presentation, you mentioned showing belongingness is what they think you said. Um, can you talk a little bit more about what you mean by showing belongingness in an essay?

Aya: Yeah, I think that came, uh, that was one of the kind of, um, responses to the question about like what you should communicate.

If it’s okay, can I go back to the slide?

Stacey: Yeah, absolutely.

Aya: I’m gonna go back to the slide for that student because I, I know that was,

Uh, here it is. Okay. So it was like what factors make it for a great essay and help the students stand out. So I say, you know, effectively describe how the experience has led to some personal growth or understanding of belongingness. So, um, so what I mean by that is, you know, some students might write about, you know, I’m being an outsider, um, in a community and I use community broadly.

That can be a school that can be a club that can be a church, you know, etc. Um, and they talk about, you know, what they. What they like learned about, you know, based on certain activities or encounters or experiences that they name, they talk about, like, now they understand, like, what it means, like, what belongingness means to them, or now they feel like it’s important to ensure that all members of a community belong.

So, what they’re seemingly is once I’m on a college campus. I’m going to foster community for others. I’m going to make sure people were not don’t feel the same level of outsidedness that I felt, right? So that’s what I mean. That was just one of the examples of, of kind of talking about personal growth, um, and a lesson learned.

So that was just one example. And so I hope that answered your question.

Stacey: Yes. Thank you. I appreciate that clarification. Um, let’s talk about formatting of an essay. Is there a particular rule of thumb around the formatting, how you outline it? What is your advice when it comes to format?

Aya: Um, I mean, I would not overthink the format.

I think just taking a very standard. approach intro, middle, you know, supporting information conclusion. I mean, um, some students do a pyramid. So where they will start off talking about a very, the intro will be something about very something like a sphere is very specific, right? So they’ll start very narrow and then they’ll broaden it out, giving more information, describing it, and then talk about overall lessons.

And then some students would do the inverted pyramid where they start broad talking about. You know, I learned that I wasn’t the only child, you know, I was like, okay, but who knows what that’s about and then they’ll go in and go more specific. Right? Or, or maybe that was perhaps a bad example. They’ll talk about, like, I learned the value of community.

So they’ll start that broad and then they’ll kind of go into detail and then in very specific. So, you know, as far as again, structure, it’s really, you know, I was just thinking that the natural kind of structure of an essay, um, yeah. you know, opening sentence. You know, people talk about like a sentence that, you know, opening grabs you, it makes you want to read more than you give examples to support the purpose.

And then you have a conclusion that wraps it up. Often people will reflect them back on the beginning. Um, you know, they might sometimes use the same quote or talk about, you know, recall the experience they talked about at the beginning of the essay. But, um, you know, again, For our seniors, if you are like working in the common app and you’ve already uploaded your essay, you know, you can download your, your application to see what it looks like.

I encourage you to do that so you can see what the spacing looks like. Sometimes spacing gets weird. I think common app automatically adds a space. So for students who add spaces between their paragraphs, it’s like a double double space. So you may not want that. I don’t think the indentations come out. I don’t think you can, I don’t think it shows indented if I’m not mistaken.

So always just upload the essay into the common app portal and then download the PDF so you can see what it looks like on the other side, just in case languages and get like, isn’t cut off or sentences are not stopping abruptly. It is a great way to proofread sometimes when it’s in that format. So I think that’s what the, I’m pretty sure that’s what the person was asking.

Wow.

Stacey: In terms of format.

Aya: Yes.

Stacey: Yeah. Yeah. I think, um, there’s also this, I think, very common confusion that you should write in the same way that you write a high school essay or an essay essay, and it’s not, you know, you have your thesis and your 3 paragraphs and that is definitely not, you know. The same type of writing that you’ll get with the personal statement, right?

And supplements are even more different, right? And so something I really, um, have been trying to hit home with advisees at this time of year is supplements really need to be concise and direct as your comment, because you don’t have a lot of space, right? I had to write those, um, Whereas your common app essay, your main essay is more of a narrative.

And you’ve talked about this a lot, Aya, right? The story that you’re telling and everybody’s story is going to look a little different. So there’s really not kind of this clear format or clear formula that you’ll necessarily use. Um, one thing I will say is that there’s usually some kind of turning point, right?

There’s some kind of moment realization. And that really follows the prompt. At the end of the day, if you answer the prompts. You’re already in a good place. Always ask yourself every time you read a sentence, is this advancing my answer to the prompt? And if the answer is no, it’s probably fluff. It’s probably doesn’t need to be there.

Um, and so it’s more about kind of that internal check system as you tell your story, um, There’s a lot of questions about how to start and end an essay. What is your advice to students who are really struggling with the starting but also the ending? You know, how do you work toward a hook and how do you work towards that conclusion?

Aya: Yeah, I mean, I, I feel like if you’re having trouble start or conclude to start somewhere else in the app, in the essay, um, so sometimes starting with the middle because I think prioritizing the hook might, it could be misguided. I think actually starting with those spaces last can actually be more effective.

So you want to, I think, starting with the middle. So again, ask yourself, what are you trying to communicate? Like, what are you trying to convey in this essay? Like, what is the story about and why are you trying to tell the story? What’s the right? So, you know, outlining is a really great way. To kind of talk about to help structure and format for yourself internally.

Um, so talk about like, you know, the prop is asking, you know, if you talk about like, what I think one of the common essays is about, like, something that sparked the realization,

Stacey: right?

Aya: So, you know, Asking yourself who, what, when, where, why, like, when did it happen? How did it happen? Kind of describing that, like, even if it’s jotting down, um, if it’s just jotting down those particular things, um, just kind of asking yourself, okay.

So I, if I answer the question about the, the, the spark, like the moment that I had this realization, then I talk about what I learned from it and how it, it impacted me. You already have the meat of the sandwich, right? So thinking about capsizing, it, I often find, you know, a, a more traditional approach to students ending the essays with lessons learned.

So, you know, they talk about the actual experience and then they talk about, they conclude very briefly, right? A conclusion doesn’t have to be, again, that traditional four sentence paragraph. It could be a brief conclusion where you say, you know, now that, you know, I, I learned about, I don’t know, Rosa, Rosa Parks, uh, you know, I learned the importance of like advocacy and standing your ground.

And I look forward to, you know, doing that while in college. So students will sometimes conclude with thinking about the future. So they’ll say, you know, you’ll tell the story, you’ll talk about what you learned, and then also forecast for the future. So talk about giving this I hope to do this and that will be a way that that students wrap up.

Some students wrap up again with lessons learned. And thinking about the intro, thinking about like how you want to kind of enter the conversation. So, um, I often find, um, again, taking clues from the conclusion, right? Or taking clues from your middle paragraph. So, you know, you want to have that topic sentence.

You’re really trying to tell people what the essay is going to be about. Right? So to Stacey’s point, it’s not a traditional essay and in like the five paragraph essay that we’ve been socialized to write in the K through 12 system. However, I will take a cue from that essay when thinking about the intro and like the thesis.

Like what’s the thesis of the story you’re trying to tell because that can actually help you think about how to, how to start. So again, there are creative ways people start with music, poems, songs, lyrics, and quotes. Um, but I just want you to think about what does it mean to just like, If you start with answering the question directly, I think that apps actually helps you kind of zoom out.

So you can either start zooming in, like being very specific or start zooming out with like lessons learned, value. So it really, I think. We overthink the intros, the hook, and the conclusion. I want you to start with the, start with the middle and work your way out. Um, yeah, Stacey, do you have a response to that?

Stacey: Yeah, it’s, it’s not easy. Um, and actually, This is a great segue to a wonderful resource that we have available to you today. Um, so I just want to talk a little bit about this, especially for those in the chat who might be having these kind of questions about where do I start or, you know, I’m feeling kind of lost, or is this enough?

These are really large questions that require some more personalized advisement. CollegeAdvisors team of over 300 former admissions officers and admissions experts are ready to help you and your family navigate college admissions process in one on one advising sessions like that we’ve already helped over 6, 000 clients in their college journeys and after analyzing our data Data since 2021.

We have found that CollegeAdvisor students are 3.6 times more likely to get into Stanford University, 4.1 times more likely to get into Vanderbilt University, and 2.7 times more likely to get into Harvard University. So increase your odds and take the next step in your college admissions journey by signing up for a free 45 to 60 minute strategy session with an admission specialist on our team using the QR code on the screen here.

And during that meeting, we’ll review your current extracurricular lists. An application strategy, discuss how they align with your college list and outline the tools you need to stand out in a competitive admissions world. So, yeah, that will be on the next slide here. The QR code is available to you. Um, and really, you know, every essay is so different.

I have been sharing a couple of resources from CollegeAdvisor in the chat as well with example essays. Some students do well looking at examples, some students kind of get lost in the weeds when they’re looking at examples, but some do find it helpful to at least read a few of them to get a sense, okay, this is how an essay typically looks.

It pulls them out of this, I don’t know where to begin mindset. Um, and so definitely take a look at those resources. Now I, Want to kind of switch gears here. Um, there was a unique question in the chat about test optional schools and whether the essay is weighed more if a test score is not submitted, um, or is that the test score really viewed?

I and, you know, the realm of the academics only how what is your experience with that? And I can definitely talk a little bit about that too.

Aya: Well, I mean, for schools, which. I will say a lot of the test optional schools may pride themselves on. They take holistic admissions approaches, but it doesn’t, um, kind of translate at, say there’s four components.

It doesn’t mean that everything is looked at 20, like 20%. So 20 percent test, 20%, uh, essay, 20 percent transcript, 20 percent letters of recommendation. Um, they, they, they’re all not kind of, Lean into the same. I will say that across the board, and I know Stacey will be able to agree with this, that the high school transcript is the most important part of the application and thinking about the weight only because it is the, it is a record of performance across the period of time, and it can speak a lot to how Students have engaged with diversity of courses, the rigor of courses, how they perform over a period of time.

You can see upward slope trajectories, you can see downward slope trajectories. So the transcript does have a lot of value in the process. If you do, if you, if you do go the test, optional approach or route. What that means is they are going to have less data, if you will, to look at, right? So that may they, that mean they may prioritize the, um, you know, the, the transcript more because that is what they’re going to have as your record of academic achievement, like the record of test of performance in the classroom, your academic performance.

That means they’re also going to, You know, look at how your teachers describe the type of student you are in the classroom, right? That means they also might look at your AP test scores if you choose to submit those to kind of determine the the rigor and how you perform. That also might they might use the essays and the supplements to kind of get more clues about the strength of your application.

That means they also will look at your high school profile to also see what the strength of the application is. So What it means test optional, you’re just going to remove one piece of data. So that means they only have this amount of data to rely on. Um, so it’s not necessarily like a 1 to 1 kind of like this, then replaces it.

But if they have less information to choose from that, that means they might spend a little bit more time on what on what you do provide, but it’s not like a 1 to 1 kind of transition.

Stacey: Thank you so much. That was really helpful. Um, I do want to get to the question about coven references and essays. Um, what is your current advice to students who may be interested in talking about how coven impacted their high school career, especially because a lot of these students.

did start high school, um, when the pandemic began or close to it. So what would your advice be to students who want to talk about those experiences?

Aya: Yeah, I see a lot less COVID essays, I will say, you know, than, you know, two years ago, of course. Um, if I’m not mistaken, there is still the COVID, the Common App still has the COVID question.

Stacey: Yes, it does.

Aya: So this is also and it depends, um, kind of response because I have read essays again, less regularly now students talking about COVID and how that affected them, especially again, if they start a school online, then they relocated, then they moved to a different country. Like, I’ve read some ways for starting online because of COVID and had really impacted how they kind of.

relocated and transitioned. So they talked about it, but the essay wasn’t about COVID, right? So I will caution, but will not say don’t, but will caution students to like write an entire essay about COVID. Um, however, if, if there’s a part of your story that you want to tell and respond to a particular prompt and COVID is a part of that, you can talk about it.

But if COVID has significantly impacted again, um, maybe, uh, In unfortunate circumstances, maybe people, you know, a love or sick or may have transitioned or you have to relocate to different schools because of cove it if it had a impact on your academic performance, then I’ll use the covert question that the common app allows you to write about.

to talk about that. I just wouldn’t, um, again, I will have to read the essay, but I wouldn’t, um, I’m seeing fewer essays all about COVID. I’m even seeing fewer references to it, but some students have been able to do it successfully. I just haven’t seen a essay all about COVID. Um, and if COVID has significantly impacted and affected you, I will, uh, encourage you to think about using the optional, um, COVID essay question prompt, uh, and using that to talk about how COVID has impacted you, especially if, if it’s impacted you in a significant way, whether you may have had a first response, parents may have been first responders, maybe had a negative impact on academic performance, maybe you had to relocate.

So I will use that space to talk about COVID as opposed to writing a full essay about it. But again, this is a, it depends. I say this with an asterisk because I don’t know how, what type of story you’re going to write. I don’t know how you’re going to frame it. I don’t know if COVID is a part of it or if it’s the whole essay.

So again, it’s really hard to say with like a matter of fact approach. If I haven’t read the essay.

Stacey: Totally understandable. Thank you so much for that elaboration. I know that’s not an easy question to answer. Um, we are at the end of our webinar time. I thank you so much for everything. Um, through your presentation and your Q and I thank you to everyone for coming out today.

Um, and if you are interested in attending some of our other upcoming women, ours, we will We have one more this week, um, on MBA admissions. And then we also have a series of November webinars that are available now. So definitely check those out. And thank you everyone again. Thank you, Aya.

Aya: Thank you all so much.

And good luck. You got this. Absolutely.